I’ll Take One Corpse Please

Even I am disgusted, and I just ran over Yao

This is bizarre, and not just “haha” bizarre. This is crazier than bringing Lindsay Lohan to your parents’ open-bar wedding anniversary dinner. I realize that one out of every six people on earth is Chinese. And I am aware that means that one out of every six people who die is probably also Chinese. Apparently, these wacky bastards think that “if a body is burnt the spirit will be angry and misfortune will befall descendants”

First of all, what is “The Spirit”? Do they mean the Samual L. Jackson movie The Spirit? I saw that movie a few months ago, and I can assure you that if there was a can of gasoline and a match around, I would have lit myself up just to end that misery.

Well regardless, let’s move on to what the Chinese are doing as a solution. They are a rational industrious people. Are they sending them off to sea? Nope. Are they selling them to America as toys with “Made in China” tattooed on them? Nope. Are they having gangs murder random elderly people then buying them and passing them off as their relatives so they can trick the government into thinking they are cremating their actual relatives? YUP!!!

Apparently, a fresh Bea Arthur will run you about $1,600 US dollars. And this isn’t a random thing that has happened once or twice. So far, over 400 itty bitty elderly Chinamen are gone. I’m pretty sure the guy who ran over that innocent student in Tiananmen Square just vomited, because even he is disgusted at this. China, this is why the Japanese think they’re better than you. WTF!