See Ladies! It’s Really NOT Our Fault

I'd like to use you like a set of tools please. I can't help it

Thank you science. Thank you. For years men have had to bear the brunt of arguments from woman insisting that we can choose to not treat them as objects, and that even when they are attired in a bikini, they are more than just tits and ass. Au contraire mon fraire! My pal “science” disagrees and has come to cut the shackles and set men free!

No longer will we live in a world where we have to feel bad for taking creepy glances at the crest of a woman’s breast that is sneaking out of her low cut shirt. So long to the days where we have to face our head in one direction and stare at a woman with a cockeyed glance under the cover of sunglasses. No longer do we have to pretend that we are respectable human beings! Thank you science for adding some clout to our ongoing “I can’t help it” excuse.

New research shows that, in men, the brain areas associated with handling tools and the intention to perform actions light up when viewing images of women in bikinis.

That’s. Fucking. Awesome. Time to get to work! That’s exactly what it’s like!

Although consistent with conventional wisdom, the way that men may depersonalize sexual images of women is not entirely something they control. In fact, it’s a byproduct of human evolution, experts say. The first male humans had an incentive to seek fertile women as the means of spreading their genes.

Hey science, where do you hang out at? I need to buy you a drink! Hey ladies, in case you’re still wondering why we can’t respect you when your goodies are hanging out all over the place, it’s because we can’t. We psychologically can’t. Don’t over think it. Don’t cry to your girlfriends about it. Just use your boobs and butt to your advantage and just go with it. Just don’t try to get us to respect you while you are showing us your tits. We 100% cannot do both at the same time. It’s science.

“WTF” you say? WTF indeed.