That’s Actually Not News, But Whatever

See that? She's cleaning shit, which means I'm in love with her.

I’m still perplexed as to how this kind of shit winds up on the front page of CNN.com, but I think I’m getting beyond it at this point. I mean, every news source needs to have an article up every once in a while coming from “The Frisky.”

Seriously though Judy, this is terrible. Really fucking stupid as a matter of fact. Nobody, not one individual with more than 29 brain cells, will take your advice on what’s cute and what’s crazy in regards to dating, because you totally suck as a person.

Case in point, your entire analysis is either flawed or worthless. Animal Attraction – don’t care. Toy’s in the Attic – don’t care. Love Me – what? still don’t care. Background Research – don’t care.

But this section is just unacceptable:

The Nurturing Caregiver: When Niko brought Cathy back home to his somewhat sloppy bachelor pad after their pivotal third date, he was excited. She was cute, fun, and vivacious. He was definitely thinking girlfriend material when he left her a key the next morning as he headed off to work.

When he returned home that evening, his apartment had been scrubbed clean and all the furniture had been rearranged. In the fridge, there were carefully labeled Tupperware containers full of food for the next couple days. Gulp.

Stopping by with soup for your illin’ honey is one thing. Morphing into his mommy is quite another.

UM JUDY? I would marry that chick tomorrow. TOMORROW. That’s like her #2 responsibility behind cleaning my balls with her tongue and she sucked it up and did it all the FIRST TIME HE HAD HER OVER! Are you kidding me! Instant wife material, I suggest you go buy yourself a mop and brush and get to fucking work Judy.