Least Newsworthy Story. Ever

Yup. It's like that.

What kind of a self respecting news agency reports on something like this? How do you even find this story? Are news correspondents just roaming the streets kicking rocks looking for any human action whatsoever? This story must have bumped, “Rain Water Enters Storm Drain, Whereabouts Of Liquid Now Unknown”.

“I know exactly what she is talking about. I think it happens when you put the reflective tint on the window,” said Jack Wright. “It’s intense heat. It’s like you take a magnifying glass to focus the sun.”

Hey idiots. It’s called: reflection. It’s not a magnifying glass at all. You’re just getting twice the amount of sun on your stupid heads. Mystery solved. Well at least she reported this nuisance right away…

Redden said that she first noticed the problem about five years ago, but it didn’t become a major issue until recently. “I came over here six months ago and just about fell out,” she said.

Just about fell out? Fell out of what? What does that even mean? What does any of this mean? What in the hell is going on?? I have a headache now. Feels like someone is shining a beam of light right at my face.

Why did I have to read this story? You’re probably thinking the same thing of me for showing you this story but there is no way that I was going to be the only one to read this IQ reducing story.