Who Can Keep Count Of Semi Automatic Weapons These Days, Anyway?

Why won't this work?

In a rare Florida 2-for-1 today, we have this story of complex inanity.

“They told detectives that they forgot they had stored it in a box inside a closet. Both her and her husband forgot about it,” she said.

Forgetting the toilet seat up? It happens. Forgetting your wife’s name? From time to time. Forgetting that you own a European semi-automatic handgun? Uncommon.

Folks, if there is even the slimmest chance that you’re going to forget that you actually own a European semi-automatic handgun, then why do you need to own a European semi-automatic handgun?

Did Miami turn into Mogadishu without me knowing? Semi-automatic handgun? Isn’t that the kind of gun that Asian gang members use in every movie ever made with Asian gang members? A fucking uzi is semi-automatic! Forgetting you own an uzi is like forgetting to blink. It’s like getting out of the shower and directly walking to work ass naked, forgetting that you were indeed, ass naked. It’s like being a zookeeper and walking into a lion’s cage wearing a raw meet suit and forgetting what cage you were in. WTF!

And I hate to do this, but who is this kid? He was 12! I think Genghis Khan was impregnating half of Mongolia at 12! If he was 2 and was still being taught that stove = hot, then fine, but if you haven’t figured out that pointing a European semi-automatic handgun at your face isn’t the finest idea at 12, then I don’t really know what to say buddy.

Gotta love the ongoing relevance of that second amendment!

Lastly,

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention say that 17 states have child firearm access protection and safe-storage laws.

What in hell is the CDC doing telling me this information? I don’t roll into Krispy Kreme to get my tires rotated. WTF! If this is partly the reason STD’s exist, I’m going to be furious. CDC, let’s get back to the DC, please.