Why You Should Never Go To Ohio. . . Ever!

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

Picture this: two strippers, rivals, oiled up, a flash of passion/rage, they are fighting. Sounds awesome right? An oily stripper catfight. That’s what happened in Ohio on Friday. So why should you never go to Ohio? BECAUSE ONE STRIPPER WAS 52 AND THE OTHER WAS IN HER LATE 40’s!!!

The worst part about this is that it was Friday night. This wasn’t the Wednesday breakfast FUPA crew, where strech marks are as common as the Trix bunny not getting his cereal. This is the fucking A-Team, the Friday superstars. This is when a Jenna Jameson look-a-like should be prancing around, Not Jessica Tandy from Driving Miss Daisy.

Even when Demi Moore played the “old” stripper in Striptease she was 34!! That is 18 years younger than the stripper who was attacked on Friday.

Ohio, your most famous mascot is a god damned nut, the Buckeye. That was reason enough to hate you, but now you go and do this? 50-year-old strippers as your A-team? You just made Utah look cool!!