Falling Down 2

Relax, lady.

This story is insane. It might be my favorite ever. If you thought Michael Douglas snapped in Falling Down then you just haven’t understood the full capabilities of “snapping” yet.

Serena Sutton-Smith, 54, burnt to death after refusing to get out of her Vauxhall Nova as she sat with her foot flat on the accelerator. She spun the wheels so fast that her tires disintegrated and the metal rims sent a shower of sparks into the engine, igniting the brake fluid and setting the car on fire.

Jee-zuss. That’s angry. That might be the most angry a human being has ever been. That’s probably more angry than Ice Man was when he found out at the Top Gun graduation that Maverick got his assignment to go fight those Commie bastards in the Indian Ocean too. (Granted, Ice Man controlled himself in a much more dignified way than Serena Sutton-Smith, but just because he is cold as ice, doesn’t mean we should discredit his anger level at that moment. He was probably on par with Denzel Washington in Man on Fire after Dakota Fanning gets kidnapped.)

Where was I? Oh yeah. Serena was pissed, apparently. Funny thing is, she was at fault at every step of this ordeal, but this takes the cake.

“I opened the driver’s door wide. It opened easily. The person looked at me, it was a big built woman. I said ’You’ve got to get out of the car. It’s going to burst into flames’. “The person replied ’F*** off, just f*** off’ and she raised her right fist towards me in a threatening manner before slamming the door shut.

That guy could have a conversation with Jesus while getting a rim job from Heidi Klum on top of a live Tyrannosaurus Rex and I wouldn’t be more jealous of him than I am for him seeing this lady in that very moment.