Pay MORE Fatty!

How many seats do I get?

This is hysterical. Apparently United Airlines is actually bumping passengers that are too fat off their sold-out flights. And no, not because United is worried about lack of food or the plane being too heavy to get off the ground. And not because the fat folk didn’t buy a ticket, but because they didn’t buy TWO!

The obese are being bumped off flights when they can’t find two seats together.

I can’t wait for the uproar from Fat Camp. Let’s guess the response:

A) We’re not fat, we’re digestively disabled!

B) It’s not fair, just because we’re two humans doesn’t mean we aren’t humans too!

C) Chomp…..fuck….chomp…..you…..chomp…..all. This pizza is great, MOM bring me another diet coke!!

And Robert Mann, are you kidding me??:

”How do you eyeball someone and decide they’re not going to fit?” said aviation consultant Robert Mann, president of R.W. Mann & Co. “From a knees-to-seatback perspective, I don’t fit. I’m 6 feet 4 inches.”

Not the point dip shit. Not even close. Just because you bang your stupid knees on the tray table in front of you, doesn’t mean you take up two fucking seats. These people are adding arm rests for the people sitting next to them and frankly, that shit just ain’t right.