No More “Pulling Out” in Oregon, I Guess…

We did it!

I believe that what Oregon is really trying to say is “no money shots allowed”. WTF! I mean, if it is a second degree sex abuse crime to propel semen at someone, what am I supposed to do if a girl says something like, “I want it all over my tits” or worse, “blow it in my face”??? Look lady, ejaculating all over you is oodles of fun but I am not interested in doing any jail time for it! No thanks.

But this makes no sense. Oregon is a progressive state. Hmmmm. Mayyyyyyybe what they are indirectly getting at is that all women should either be on the pill or they have to swallow??? That’s it! That’s Beeeee-rilliant! Way to go Oregon lawmakers! You sneaky SOB’s! We did it!!!!

Hm, what’s that Ms. Senator? Wearing a condom would work too? Huh? Shooting it on my stomach or the sheets works too? Wait, what?!?!?

Damn it! Somebody shut that lady up!! Somebody filibuster those loopholes!! Somebody do something!!!!