This “Study” Stresses ME Out!

You're a secretary. Re-fucking-lax.

Whoa. 53%? 1 in 5? Over half? 3000 adults? 23%? 12%? Chill the fuck out!!!! I was literally getting an anxiety attack trying to make sense of this completely useless study. As I kept reading, I was convinced soon enough Jane would be leaving New York at 3:30 in a rickshaw and Jim was going to leave Boston at 4:15 and travelling at 52 mph.

This study is so dumb, it’s not even funny. People start a work week every 7 days and they still can’t figure out how to manage their meaningless work. You release studies like this and you get the annoying herd effect, aka, “Oh my gosh, Meeeeeee toooooooo!!!! I’m sooooo stressed!!!!” while the developing world gives western society the finger.

And then these idiots are going to get more stressed as they pass this study around to everyone in the office. People have been procrastinating ever since they didn’t have to chase and kill something to survive.

Throwing every impartial fraction about stress towards the paranoid android we call humans, makes them freak out and complain even more about their supposedly stressful life of sitting at a desk. People secretly love stress because it is the only thing 89% of them can talk about 2/3 of the time when they have gotten 1/8 of the sleep they usually get on days when they eat 22% more than usual.